Do You Feel Good Enough?

I am pretty sure that no one does and those who do feel like they are, probably aren't.

I am talking about the second coming.

We had a discussion in Sunday School (my first in a very long time!) and whether we are doing the things we should be to be prepared for the second coming and how if you are worthy enough to hold a temple recommend, you are worthy enough for the second coming.

(Side thought - we all talk about the second coming as a "someday". I know that I often say that I am not ready for the second coming, but really our own second coming could be any time if we were to pass away, so we can't really rely on the "someday".)

I was thinking that I hold a temple recommend, but I know I don't feel like I am good enough to stand in front of Jesus and know I've done all I can here.

Then I started thinking of all the things I should be doing. Praying more often, like morning and night and family prayers. Reading my scriptures and the Ensign. Going to the temple. Doing much more service. Holding family home evening. Looking for opportunities to enrich my soul.

My list is very long. But whose isn't? Anyway, I left Sunday School feeling pretty depressed and trying to find the motivation to actually make these changes in my life.

One of the things I know I can do is to be more Christlike. I need to look for opportunities to serve. I am usually pretty shy and scared and make excuses and I need to stop that. I also get too busy and forget to do the things on my list. So that is something I can really do.

Now sitting down to read scriptures is a much harder task. I was talking with the ladies at Bunco when one of them, a mother of teenagers, told me to stop feeling so bad about not being able to read my scriptures. She said that where I am at in my life right now just doesn't allow deep scripture study and pondering and that's okay.

She told me that I needed to write a scripture or a few scriptures around the house and make sure to look at them and ponder those through out the day. That that is just as good as sitting down and reading out of the scriptures, especially for where I am at right now.

Another friend told me that at a Relief Society meeting, I wasn't able to attend, Elder Nelson's wife said that being a mother is number one basically. If you're going to ignore your children so you can study the scriptures, you're missing the point.

Now I am not saying that it's bad to study the scriptures. If you're able to do it, yay for you! But maybe I need a more gradual approach and posting scriptures around the house is definitely the way to go. I think maybe we'll start doing family home evenings and Jared and I can pick two or three each and post them. I can't wait to start. :)

I guess one of the things I can do is prioritizing my days. I have been SO bad at this. I really need to write out a schedule for my day and stick to it. In this schedule, I can make sure I do something for someone else that day. Whether it be in the family or outside the home, whether it be a big act of service or just a kind word.

I really believe that being charitable and kind and loving to everyone is THE best quality of being Christlike. If I can achieve that, the other stuff will follow. I'd much rather be a person who helped people every day than one who sat down to read the scriptures for an hour a day. Some people may not have to choose, but at this time in my life I have to prioritize and I will focus on being a better person to my family, friends, and neighbors. And hopefully the scriptures I choose to focus on can help me with that. Also praying. I am really bad at praying and that is just something you really need to take advantage of. It is for US, not for Heavenly Father.

So I don't think I will ever feel good enough, but I hope that I will always be working on something to better myself and be worthy to stand at Christ's feet.