Tuesday, November 29, 2011


Ever feel like you're being pulled in so many directions that you're not able to be good at anything?

I used to think that I did my best when I was super busy. I also thought that the only thing I did really well was my job, but even now that's starting to slump. I'm just so tired.

I feel like something is wrong with me. I just don't know how to get out of this funk. When I think about doing things, almost anything, I just procrastinate, hoping it never comes.

The first thing I want to be better at is being a wife. I've been a terrible wife lately. All naggy and not very supportive. What husband does well under that?

I also have been stinking at my main job, being a mom. Ryan drives me CRAZY! And I know part of that is not spending good quality time with him. The other part is I am just tired. When you're tired, patience is thin.

Cleaning in my house is pretty much non-existent. I do laundry when it needs to be done. I wipe down the counters and table every day and I do dishes every day. That's about it. This house needs a good vacuuming and mopping and bathroom cleaning.

For work, I am three projects behind. I am also two videos behind. I am also giving up doing the blog advertising to someone else because I just know that I am not doing as good as I should be. Right this very moment, I should be working, making a cute hanging decoration for our front door, but I just want to sleep. But I can't sleep because I should start making dinner.

The only thing that I am consistent at right now is making dinner. We have a good dinner every night. We eat at 7 pm usually, but at least we eat and we eat at the table.

I just hate this funk. I don't feel like myself at all. There is so much I want to do, but I just can't make myself do it. I used to get so mad at Jared when he would act this way. I couldn't understand it at all. Now I feel bad, because I understand and it's miserable.

Is something wrong with me? Is it just Stay-At-Home-Mom blues? When will it pass over? Because I'd really like to be myself again.

1 comment:

  1. shirley give yourself a break ;) my mom always tells me at the end of the day if everyone is breathing its been a good day. i would just focus on one thing a day you want to improve, and go from there. being a stay at home mom is a lot more work than i ever imagined- but try to find the little blessings along the way. i think you are doing a great job- focus on the small things- I try to do 1 'fun' thing with my kids a day- the rest is usually spent cleaning, organizing, etc while they are entertaining themselves- give yourself a break!